How to Deal With Your Low Self-esteem

There are always reasons that could explain the way you feel including your low self-esteem. But it ultimately boils down to what's inside your head. The root of my low self-esteem used to be my firm belief that you needed to be good at everything in order to be loved by others. Such standard probably stemmed from both familial and cultural norms and expectations. For the longest time, I had condemned myself if I lacked in any area such as music, language, sports, communication, academics, dating, social skills, leadership, and strong mentality. When I look back, I find it only unfair what I had done to myself - an act of suffocating myself. And no wonder I always felt uncomfortable and pressured and it was because I had to satisfy the harshest and the most perfectionist teacher ever, which was myself. Also looking back, I had a lot more innate talent than many others yet I never thought that to be the case because I was only thinking about mastering perfection.

So, if your mindset resembles that of my old self, then your low self-esteem probably comes from your unreasonable standards and you must change them. One important thing to do is to surround yourself with a supportive group of people that encourages you even though you might not do so to yourself. Such relationships will heal your scars and restore your confidence over the long run. But also be mindful that if you continue to be negative and self-critical despite their support, they may become weary and decide to give it up for their sake. In the end, we are all humans who can only do and take so much.

If you want to majorly transform your negative ways of thinking, it all starts with smaller steps. The first thing I did was to wake up in the morning and say 3 positive things to myself. I assure you there is definitely 3 you can find and here are some examples you can use.

"Good job waking up today and getting ready to do something"

"Great job going to school. You decided to go to class even though you had choice not to"

"You are a disciplined person because you did your homework in time"

"Man, you are awesome for going to work today even though you are tired and stressed"

"Holy, you're awesome for going to the gym"

This is what I call playing a positive tune in your head and eliminating all negative thoughts. I had to force myself to do so because I was more used to playing a negative tune in my head, literally complaining about everything from weather, people to school. In a matter of a couple months, I noticed a significant change which was that I was displaying much less negativity than before. It was as if my brain has switched from a red colour to a peaceful blue colour. People also noticed the difference, indicating that I seemed more delighted and brighter than before. This end result was how I came to understand the meaning of, "Guard your hearts before anything else."

There are various other strategies I've used to conquer my low self-esteem, which I am delighted to share in my next post.