When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Things obviously don't always go the way you want. This might be the case in your academic endeavours where you won't necessarily learn the things you want, get the desired grades, win scholarships and awards, and get into the desired programs or schools. Many students are devastated by all of these which I fully understand, but this blog post is to remind you that it is not the end of the world.

1. It isn't you

I'd assume that if you are reading this post you aren't a bum who gets no studying done, has no motivation or goals, and has no passion in learning. You are here because you want to do well as a student and succeed. This might sound cliche to you, but the fact that you are stressed and devastated by your circumstance means you have the desire to advance in life, and that is most important. I want you to accept your circumstance and realize that you have the strongest asset which is your aspiration. The fact that you aren't where you want to be right now isn't because you aren't talented or as intelligent as others but because you got unlucky. Unlucky because there is simply too many people trying to do and achieve the same as you. But, you will end up somewhere reputable as long as you keep that desire in your heart.

2. Focus on your potential and what you have

Too many times we focus on what we don't have rather than what we have, and it really significantly lowers our satisfaction level. There are many things we take for granted such as our access to schools and education, owning tech devices, having a roof over our head, family, friends, etc. which should be more appreciated. Yes, you may have gotten a bad grade in some subject, but at least you get to go to school and are intelligent enough to follow the curriculum. Yes, you may not have gotten into the program you want, but at least you've had the previous education to have a stab at it in the first place. Sometimes, when things don't go your way, it is to shape you so that when you do achieve your goals, you are more grateful for it.

3. Take time to reflect on yourself

Ultimately, you can't magically change your situation you're already in. Instead of filling yourself with regrets, spend time and energy on what you can do differently and only allow positive thoughts and plans going forward. When I didn't get into the program I wanted on my first try, I thought the world has come to an end. I've spent countless hours berating myself and such acts only killed my motivation and confidence than anything. The feeling of self-pity gave rise to temporary relief, but it discouraged me from taking a step forward. Reflect on yourself, but don't dwell in self-pity and negative evaluation of yourself. Constructive feedback is good, but don't berate yourself in the process. You and yourself should be on the same team to produce good results in the end.

I just want to conclude by saying all of these practices helped me realize that the shitty situation I was in wasn't so shitty after all. As my friend always said, "It can always be worse." Regardless, what helped me most was the 2nd point on focusing on things you already have and things you should be grateful for when things didn't go the way you want. Turning to positive things and positive thoughts will help you propel forward. Trust me on this one.